One year later, and I am changed!
Yes, I know we all change and a year is more than enough time for many things to change. But let me explain and put that statement into context.
Exactly one year ago I left Exclusive Books (EB) under very struggling circumstances to an unknown future. Honestly, sometimes the fear of the unknown is just so much brighter than any present circumstance and reality that we might have. Sometimes the seeming safety and security of the present can rob us from achieving greatness and satisfaction in our lives, but instead we remain with what we are familiar with. It’s like that saying rings true for so many of us, “rather the devil you know than the devil you don’t.” This was true in so many ways for me, I opted to dine with the proverbial “devil” and I settled for less than what could be possible. But toward the latter part of my stay I began asking questions, deep and honest and sometimes down right scary questions about myself, my purpose, my skill and ability and if I am found in the right place. Obviously, the answer to that question was a loud resounding NO!
These questions that I began asking led to a challenge in my belief of myself and my belief system. Now questions are not bad and neither is doubt because questions can lead to answers we never knew existed and if we do not ask, how will we ever know any different from where we find ourselves? And doubt can lead to faith, and when my present looked so bleak and dark, I could only hope and believe that God had something better in store for me and that he would catch me when I jump (or maybe I was pushed?).
And so in June 2011, my stay at EB ended and a new chapter in my life began. Just what that new chapter would offer was beyond my wildest imaginations! It’s alot like the Habakkuk 1:5 story where I would not believe what is possible and about to happen even if God had told me. I definitely was a Habakkuk. And so this journey continues to surprise me and overwhelm me at times, but what a ride!
The path I chose not to travel… what it could have offered? I think it could have offered me countless opportunities that would be great but I wonder if it would have that WOW factor? I declined a call as a youth pastor to an amazing church that offered great opportunities. I also declined an opportunity to work abroad, which I could imagine would be just as amazing with international travels and cultural experiences. I never made a good choice or a bad choice but I made a choice and it has made all the difference.
The path I chose to travel… and what it does offer? I began “working” but actually it’s more ministering and fulfilling a dream that I have had for many years. I am currently at the Cape Town Baptist Seminary as Registrar and Youth Lecturer. I have also commenced with my doctoral studies and I continue to be involved in youth at local church levels where invited to be part of. But I am here! And I love it. I lecture and admin and study and smile and live.
So, one year later and I am saying, don’t be afraid to make a choice and enjoy the journey that God will let you begin, a journey that hopefully will be shared with people who matter in your life. I am on such a journey and I am sure you would be able to say what I am currently saying, “what a ride! WHAT A RIDE!”